


Not so Pure

by Joblesswriter



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Fan theories, Incest, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 22:06:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joblesswriter/pseuds/Joblesswriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, this is  a little drabble I wrote for Fionarex who requested <b>“Ned Stark/Jon Snow…slashy or platonic oneshot”</b> I hope you don’t mind I took some fan theories in this and hope it’s not too bad >.</p><p>976 words >o</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not so Pure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



**“Not so Pure”**

Had there been no other way to save the sister he had loved so but with a promise? A promise that made his heart ache and squeezed it tight with every time he was reminded of her and of all the things he’d lost. A wrecking hand that gripped round his core in order to squish it with feelings that should not have been there and that he had never known, but that grew over time and only increased in intensity. 

Because he had lied for her and would continue to do so till the end of his days. She had always been his loved sister and he would always be her protective brother, even in death. And if it meant his wife despised him for believing in the lies he told then so be it. He wanted nothing more but to keep that promise which he had made and speak no more about it.

Catelyn watched with narrowed eyes like ice as the source of her inferiority complex and nightmares passed her by. She would scold him, joust and make sure he was reminded of just how much he was worth; all to justify her own feelings and try to forget that one time she had not been enough for her husband. Ned watched her do this without bringing her to a stop. He knew how much she needed this self-justification and how much she deserved to take out her frustration for his bleak lies. And perhaps, perhaps he let her go too far in her actions and words because it satisfied him. It was a punishment for the boy as much as it was a punishment for him and his vile thoughts.

Jon Snow had been promised a life among his family and one with as little disrespect and as much prosperity a boy like him could expect. There had been fates worse in store for him. If people would figure out his real heritage he’d become a target. If Ned had left him behind he would have been a low-life, a beggar or a slave of both body and mind to some rich man who cared not about an unnamed bastard. A young child without parents or without history was doomed to a fate worse than Ned wished anyone to have. And a young child whose parents were known and whose family connections meant only danger was in for a similar disastrous fate. All options ended with an untimely death Ned had promised to protect his son from.

For Jon Snow was his son, by his words and by his promise, even if the boy wasn’t truly his. If one counted words, then yes he was. If one counted the whole actions that would have made the boy then he would have to deny. And to prevent saying anything revealing Ned would say nothing at all and watch ‘his son’ grow up to be a fine young man. 

It must have been for his own sanity that Ned accepted Jon had to be sent to the wall. He knew Jon would be safer there than he could ever be here. He’d be far away from Catelyn’s sharp insults and he’d be far away from Ned’s prying eyes. The man could feel his control slip as the boy developed and reached his fourteen years of age.

And Ned couldn’t help but think how wonderful his son would look like in black. The colour suited him and made his slim body look even more lean and flexible. He longed to ruffle a hand through those curls on the boy’s head more and more often, but if he would do it too often people would notice and Catelyn would accuse him of favouritism. For shouldn’t his real children come first?

He knew that his children were always in his heart and that he’d do anything to protect them. But among his children and wife his heart held a special place for the boy. Ned knew he was watching him more openly as of late. He knew that he was following Jon in every moment he wasn’t needed for business just to watch him work his muscles or laugh with the other children. He’d follow him down the court more and more often.

It seemed as if Ghost knew his thoughts and deliberately kept him at bay. He cursed the fact he had permitted his children to have these direwolves. And he cursed him for having one. If it hadn’t been for Jon’s sweet coated words and puppy eyes Ned would not even have considered to take the damned animals home. But now he saw how loyal they were and how his children benefitted from them. 

And he also saw how fiercely Ghost protected Jon from him. Now he knew that his thoughts had gone astray and taken a turn for the worst. They were wrong, so very wrong, but he craved the boy nonetheless. He knew it would just be a matter of time before Jon would grow into a proper man. If that were to happen while Ned was around he was certain not even the direwolf could protect the boy from him. He could not risk that. He would not bed his sister’s son.

Ned smiled at Jon, who returned a similar smile, and nodded his head. He placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. 

Jon would not say how much he’d miss him, and for this Ned was grateful. After a moment of relishing the touch, Ned removed his hand and cleared his throat. His feelings for the boy were all but pure. While Catelyn approached them he thought how delighted she would be to hear of Jon leaving, for if Ned couldn’t leave then Jon would have to go.

“You’ll be safe as part of the Watch.” He said. 

_Safe from me._


End file.
